Lola seemed to have made a drastic turn when lolo and I first walked in. Malou, who had come in shortly after us, said that she looked like she had wilted. It was the truth. She wasn't responsive at all and her breathing was laboured. I had seen this before, I thought, surely she'd perk up soon. It honestly felt like something was seeping out of her, but I couldn't name it at the time. So we continued just chillin', listening to Harry Belafonte, and lola seemed to be tapping and squeezing my hand to the beat of the islands.
Malou left with lolo around 1930 and I hung out a little while longer. She didn't want to go, I could tell, but she also knew that lolo needed to get back. I know she wishes she came back - heck, I wish I hadn't left! The reality is that none of us had the proverbial hindsight-is-20/20.Lola stayed pretty much the same and for a brief moment I thought about what Jeremy had been afraid of since the beginning, that lola would pass while I (or whoever) was there. I wasn't afraid, the thought just entered my head and I let it stew for a while; I decided that it was hooey and that lola was just having a bad day - it was about 3000 degrees today, she just needed to get cool. I left shortly afterwards, close to eight. When I was taking my leave, I asked her to wait as long as she could for Uncle Buddy. I think mama knew, too, that death was close - she had made that comment this past Sunday night after she and papa visited - and she called while I was there last night saying the same thing.
"Wala na talaga. Hindi siya kumakain... I hope Uncle Buddy will make it."
I suppose it was lola's infinite wisdom to pass after I left. She probably did not want to impose on anyone's conscience by "dying on their watch" and so she waited. And at 2210, she decided it was time.
It's perhaps serendipitous that lolo was able to see her. He whispered something into her ear before he left and I remember thinking, "That's about as real as you can get." I have no idea what I mean by that nor do I know anything about what lolo said, but it must have been good, because lola could hardly wait to tell the secret to her Maker!
Malou phoned me shortly before 2300 with the news. She was crying. I didn't bat an eye - I can't explain it. I cried when I picked up Nikka and Chris and when we got to the hospice, and even now, but I suppose on the phone earlier I felt relieved, too. It was over. No more aching; no more coughing. And, when I saw her lying there, I knew she was at peace.
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