In The Silences

Sometimes, lola moves her hands in what seems like unintentional directions and it's always in those last few moments before she falls asleep. I always just assumed that the older one became the less control one had over one's own movements. After all, little babies make those same involuntary movements in their sleep and don't we all end up returning to that kind of innocence in old age? Anyway, a few nights ago, Malou and I noticed lola's hands move again, but it seemed like I had seen the same sort of movement before. And it finally dawned on me: she was making the sign of the cross before she fell completely asleep. Granted, it was a very loosely done sign of the cross - in my youth, lola would have spoken out against such laziness had I made the sign of the cross like that - but it was unmistakable nonetheless! She makes that movement when she starts to get sleepy and a few minutes later, when she has already closed her eyes and we think she has gone to sleep, she makes the gesture again - the end of her prayers.